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My Wife's doctor - 11/19/2008 1:23:46 PM
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KTMObuckeye
Posts: 3
Joined: 11/14/2008
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Hey Guys,
My wife is a nurse and works for a group of four gynecologists. She is the personal nurse for one of the female physicians who just so happens to be my wife's doctor as well. The funny thing is, when my wife was offered the job I asked her how she would feel about being "examined" by her boss; she didn't think it would be an issue. Personally, I cannot imagine having that type of relationship with my boss, but then I'm not a woman either. Anyhow, the other day she told me that one of the male doctors did the entire staffs exams on the same day every year; he does it for free and as a benefit to the staff. I am not suggesting that there is any impropriety taking place on the doctors part; my wife says he is a wonderful man and awesome physician. My issue, is that he is one of her bosses and I really do have an issue with another man, let alone her boss, seeing my wife in that way. In the past my wife has always seen a female gynecologist and only one of our four daughters was delivered by a male; and he was the doctor on call that night.
I guess I'm just trying to find out if I'm alone out here or if there are other guys who feel the same way as I do. And if so, how did you handle it with your wife.
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RE: My Wife's doctor - 11/19/2008 1:39:09 PM
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mrtigger
Posts: 320
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quote:
ORIGINAL: KTMObuckeye
I guess I'm just trying to find out if I'm alone out here or if there are other guys who feel the same way as I do. And if so, how did you handle it with your wife.
My wife is an RN and worked for a gyny/ob in our early marriage. He did her exams at the time and delivered all 3 of our kids.
I met him and felt he was a man of integrity. And my wife was confident in him as a doctor. I had no problem with it.
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RE: My Wife's doctor - 11/19/2008 2:28:04 PM
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1mlasp
Posts: 205
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As long as everything is professional and clinical, I wouldn't see a problem. However, if the dr's office were lit with candles and there was a violin player present, that would be cause for concern.
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RE: My Wife's doctor - 11/26/2008 7:37:17 PM
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Christian30
Posts: 156
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From: Stafford, TX (Houston suburb)
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The opposite sex issue with with doctors is a totally different dynamic with men and women. Women see doctors very early in thier lives for non-illness issues (female issues, I mean), whereas men do not (or rarely do) for that type of situation. There have only been a significant number of women who are in the ob/gyn field for maybe 2 generations, so for so long few women had a choice.
I've had major urological problems for much of my adult life, but still I was 29 when it started. In no way was I comfortable with a female doctor. My mother lived most of her life in a remote area, and never had a choice of having a woman gynecologist.
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RE: My Wife's doctor - 11/26/2008 11:03:03 PM
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HisFish
Posts: 687
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From: Rocky mountain way
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For me i want my wife examined by a female, and i use a male Doc. Thats the way i want it and my wife agrees, but that's just us.
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The theology of the present aims at the deification of man, but the truth of all time
magnifies God . C. H. Spurgeon
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RE: My Wife's doctor - 11/28/2008 11:22:04 AM
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willfs
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I have even heard of professors of meds who were the ones who obgyn students used when being graded on how well they gave exams.
I know a story of a woman who felt real uncomfortable around her gyn. She just told herself she was being silly. Then he raped her. My point is that woman can very often tell if something is wrong in this area. If your wife feels uncomfortable then she needs to listen to feelings. However, I really think that if she feels comfortable then there is no reason for concern. If it still bothers you then maybe she should not do it to keep promote harmony in the marraige, but otherwise, her feelings seem to suggest there is no reason for concern. I am a single guy. I once was in a classroom filled with all woman. A therapist I knew told me that if I started noticeing one of the woman, all of the woman could tell. It seems like woman can pick up on a guy being attracted to them very quickly. I think they can sense such things. I think your wife could sense if there was something wierd. But that might not be your concern. You may trust her boss completely. If that is the case, well, what if a your male boss offered to give you a prostrate exam for free and you knew he was capable of giving such an exam. Would you let him... its free. I hope these thoughts helped.
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RE: My Wife's doctor - 11/28/2008 9:20:45 PM
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MisterTR
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I agree logically that there is no problem with it, but I would be a little bothered by it if I were in your shoes. I can't really say why it would bug me, though. Maybe if I had a sister I would be less concerned about this kind of thing. Growing up in a family of boys we just didn't talk about "women's issues" at all.
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"And we know that all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
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RE: My Wife's doctor - 11/29/2008 8:42:35 AM
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markvh
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My wife was real good about my mis-givings on this subject, and she spent a lot of time explaining it to me, and to help with it, she encouraged me to go with her the first few times with a new doctor. She was proud of me for caring, and at the same time, I got my "fill" of it, and saw that she would definitely tell me if something didn't seem right, and could probably handle herself well enough. So I understand about your concerns, -I was pretty concerned about it as well, and owe it to her for making me understand it better.
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RE: My Wife's doctor - 11/29/2008 3:13:42 PM
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willfs
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After thinking about it I thought i should add that I am not married although I have been in some serious relationships. I would be uncomfy with my girlfriend going to see her boss for such exams but would probably be like you and wonder how much it should bother me. I just thought I would throw in my two sense about woman and how well they can tell if something is not right - but not always.
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If you're approaching Him not as the goal but as a road, not as the end but as a means, you're not really approaching Him at all. - C.S. Lewis
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RE: My Wife's doctor - 12/6/2008 10:40:14 PM
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mrf084
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As men we know how our brains and bodies are hardwired differently. God made us in a certain way which is different from women. You are concerned because you would have a problem if you were the OB/GYN. We can train ourselves and be trained by God to control these urges though, thankfully. If your wife is unconcerned you need to be open to her viewpoint while seeking God's guidance on the issue. Only Him talking to you can resolve the issue for you.
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RE: My Wife's doctor - 12/9/2008 10:48:58 AM
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iwillfearnoevil
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From: upstate NY
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quote:
ORIGINAL: KTMObuckeye
Anyhow, the other day she told me that one of the male doctors did the entire staffs exams on the same day every year; he does it for free and as a benefit to the staff.
for free? your wife is a nurse in a medical facility and doesn't have insurance for it? i'm not commenting on your question, it just seems kind of a weird reason to switch to a new doctor. maybe she has problems with the female doctor who saw her, has she suggested your daughters switch doctors too?
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RE: My Wife's doctor - 1/5/2009 2:21:51 PM
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dbass62
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You are not alone on this issue. I would have an issue w/ my wife seeing a male OB/GYN and I would certainly question that male doctors intensions on offering a yearly pelvic exam as an annual bonus/ benefit. I hope you decline his perverted offer and tell him that a turkey on thanksgiving or a ham at Christmas is a sufficient annual bonus
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RE: My Wife's doctor - 1/5/2009 3:17:42 PM
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DaveW
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From: MD suburbs of Washington DC
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quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevilquote:
ORIGINAL: KTMObuckeye
Anyhow, the other day she told me that one of the male doctors did the entire staffs exams on the same day every year; he does it for free and as a benefit to the staff. for free? your wife is a nurse in a medical facility and doesn't have insurance for it? I have heard that this is not unusual. Insurance only pays a percentage of the cost for exams. This guy is a dr who can see all that of hundreds of women;different ones every day of the year.
I don't see a problem with it. If she does not trust his professionalism she should work in a different office.
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RE: My Wife's doctor - 1/8/2009 2:19:01 PM
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netstroller
Posts: 188
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From: dust and ashes
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quote:
ORIGINAL: HisFish
For me i want my wife examined by a female, and i use a male Doc. Thats the way i want it and my wife agrees, but that's just us.
I'm not married but have the same attitude on this issue. I don't think there's any impropriety in this particular example, but at the same time the fact is that doctors don't loose their appreciation of the opposite sex after they become doctors. I just don't want another man appreciating my wife or girlfriend if I didn't really have to, even if I knew the doc would be professional and try his darnest to be objective.
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...let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, ...
(Heb 12:1-2)
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RE: My Wife's doctor - 1/9/2009 8:16:03 AM
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John_O
Posts: 8031
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quote:
ORIGINAL: dbass62
You are not alone on this issue. I would have an issue w/ my wife seeing a male OB/GYN and I would certainly question that male doctors intensions on offering a yearly pelvic exam as an annual bonus/ benefit. I hope you decline his perverted offer and tell him that a turkey on thanksgiving or a ham at Christmas is a sufficient annual bonus
Nothing perverted about it at all. My late wife (M) used to work for a Chiropractor. He did free adjustments for her and her family as part of the benefits of working for him.
My niece works for a gastro doctor. Any issues she has in her digestive track he covers as a benefit.
A good friend of mine works for a GP Doctor (who is also a good friend of mine) her care is covered as a benefit
Why does it become perverted just because the Dr's certification is in OB/GYN?
To most OB/GYNs a patient is just that, a patient. It's a very clinical, non-emotional examination. Ever watch House?
M had a male OB/GYN for a while and it was no problem for her. I went along to some of the exams and she was more embarassed at me being there than at the doctor.
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Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: My Wife's doctor - 
You're hilarious!
