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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 8/29/2008 11:27:37 AM
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beachcooky
Posts: 893
Joined: 6/21/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: collybird
Hi everyone! I'm in a similar situation but I am quite comfortable with it at the moment.
At 24 I find myself with more things in common with younger teenagers, I like talking about TV, movies, shoppinh and just hanging out. Very innocent things, I don't drink, I hate bars etc and although I'm often invited to those types of places I always decline.
In the UK there is literally no way I know of meeting any other Christians around my age, we don't have youth groups etc. I'm hoping to spend the summer after I graduate (in 2010) as a counselor at a faith camp so that I can meet fellow Christians.
This thread makes me feel better about myself to know that I'm not alone, thank you guys.
Wait--there's no youth groups in the UK??
That's kinda weird. You can do other stuff then going to the bar (which you don't). Join a group. Maybe a book club or something. I don't know what kind of clubs you have over there. And you're in college? Well, university as you call it over there (I have two friends that live in the UK), you can meet tons of people there. Maybe in your classes. I made a few friends my second class. You just need to step out of your comfort your zone. Say, "Hey! Names (your name). What's your major?" Or something like that.
I am very shy when I meet new people. But I want to meet new people and whatnot. Don't expect them to come up to you, because chances are they won't. So I just introduce myself. Make small talk. No one's going to look at you weird, no one's going to judge you. There's nothing to be afraid of.
And trust me, adults like the things you do as well. I have a 22 year old friend who plays video games. Heck, my whole YOUTH group plays Halo and whatnot. Adults talk about movies as well. Don't be intimidated by people. It is up to you to make friends!! Stay strong!
_____________________________
www.myspace.com/xsweetheartforux
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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 8/31/2008 8:05:31 PM
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collybird
Posts: 4
Joined: 8/7/2008
From: UK
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: beachcooky
quote:
ORIGINAL: collybird
Hi everyone! I'm in a similar situation but I am quite comfortable with it at the moment.
At 24 I find myself with more things in common with younger teenagers, I like talking about TV, movies, shoppinh and just hanging out. Very innocent things, I don't drink, I hate bars etc and although I'm often invited to those types of places I always decline.
In the UK there is literally no way I know of meeting any other Christians around my age, we don't have youth groups etc. I'm hoping to spend the summer after I graduate (in 2010) as a counselor at a faith camp so that I can meet fellow Christians.
This thread makes me feel better about myself to know that I'm not alone, thank you guys.
Wait--there's no youth groups in the UK??
That's kinda weird. You can do other stuff then going to the bar (which you don't). Join a group. Maybe a book club or something. I don't know what kind of clubs you have over there. And you're in college? Well, university as you call it over there (I have two friends that live in the UK), you can meet tons of people there. Maybe in your classes. I made a few friends my second class. You just need to step out of your comfort your zone. Say, "Hey! Names (your name). What's your major?" Or something like that.
I am very shy when I meet new people. But I want to meet new people and whatnot. Don't expect them to come up to you, because chances are they won't. So I just introduce myself. Make small talk. No one's going to look at you weird, no one's going to judge you. There's nothing to be afraid of.
And trust me, adults like the things you do as well. I have a 22 year old friend who plays video games. Heck, my whole YOUTH group plays Halo and whatnot. Adults talk about movies as well. Don't be intimidated by people. It is up to you to make friends!! Stay strong!
Thank you so much for your advise but I don't think I explained myself very well (I'm sorry), I am in a similar situation to others in this thread but also very different - similiar in that I don't have a lot of friends but dissimiliar in that this is through choice.
Long before I was saved I had lots of friends, but I took a long hard look at my life and realised that these weren't the type of friends I truly wanted, I couldn't be myself around them. Since then I have vowed only to make friends with people I can be myself around so I have a small group of friends who I am very grateful for.
I have friends at uni and I have friends at work but I don't spend a lot of time with them as I'm a loner. I would rather be alone than be around people. (Freaky I know!) I am very, very happy with how my life is at the moment.
What I don't have and very much would like is some Christian friends, that's one thing none of my friends have in common with me and unfortunately I have never met another Christian (where I live) even close to my age. I went to Catholic school and of 130 people in my year only 2 of them went to mass, can you believe that!?
When I said there wasn't any youth groups I meant that there isn't any I know of for people around our age where I live (I can't really speak for the country as a whole lol, although reading it back it did sound like I was). I did a little research and I know there's a YMCA group here but it's for kids.
Thanks again!
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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 9/1/2008 12:21:18 AM
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beachcooky
Posts: 893
Joined: 6/21/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
I have friends at uni and I have friends at work but I don't spend a lot of time with them as I'm a loner. I would rather be alone than be around people. (Freaky I know!) I am very, very happy with how my life is at the moment.
Hey, as long as you're happy with that! Nothing's wrong with being a loner! :p
I'm semi a loner, haha. So it's all good.
quote:
What I don't have and very much would like is some Christian friends, that's one thing none of my friends have in common with me and unfortunately I have never met another Christian (where I live) even close to my age.
Ah yes, I struggle with this same thing. Keep praying for it. He will help ya. God gave me friends...but I don't know, since they weren't really Christians. But I didn't ask? Haha, I don't know. But I never used to have friends and I felt so lonely in this world and I shut EVERYONE out and started hating EVERYONE. Literally. This was in 8th grade (12 or 13 years old, I don't remember).
But keep seeking God, he will provide you with Christian friends if you truly want some! Which I supposed you do, since you posted this :)
_____________________________
www.myspace.com/xsweetheartforux
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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 9/18/2008 2:32:36 AM
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etrojan78
Posts: 2
Joined: 9/14/2008
Status: offline
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Hey Breanne, you be fine. im 21 yrs old and have only 2 christian friends and at times feel lonely but i know i rather take advantage of the alone time and give it to God then be out doing things people our age are doing, knowing and feeling conviction in my heart. im over all that. So where u from? has it gotten better for u since u posted this in June? let me know. im from cali. --Eric
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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 9/18/2008 4:48:55 AM
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FurGodWurLivin
Posts: 829
Joined: 4/17/2005
From: Kansas City, MO
Status: offline
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Wow... has this thread really been open since June?
Randy, I have invisible friends to spare. If you like, I'll send some them over with a couple DVD of the Beverly Hillbillies and a mug of cocoa...
Adam
PS: You're just jealous that the voices only talk to meeeeeeee....
_____________________________
I am hyena, Jesus is my Mufasa...
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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 9/27/2008 4:21:20 AM
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laughing4lily
Posts: 27
Joined: 9/26/2008
Status: offline
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I'm in a similar situation right now. I suggest being a little more bold about it. Don't expect friends to come to you, go look for them! And if they don't accept you, move on to the next one! There are a lot of people just like you out there, you just have to be willing to look. That's the reason I came here. I currently only have a few friends myself and its been hard dealing with my mom's death. I tend to retract when I'm emotional and have to push myself to find the support that I need. (Yeah, I say this then crawl back into my little hole. Seriously, I'm trying my best!) Picking up a new hobby is a great way to find new friends. It helped me out in college! Just don't be like me and lose contact with them. A mistake I now deeply regret.
~Lily~
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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 9/30/2008 1:13:15 PM
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gradeasmarts
Posts: 4
Joined: 9/29/2008
Status: offline
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I've lived that once. When in 8th grade i came to school and just let it all out. I was the most shy person around and I just talked to everyone I could see. I became instant friends with everybody...which in turn is when I did most of my earlier sinning. I then picked and chose my good friends. Now I hang out with everyone only with a kind heart. I hang out with 15 year old's, 17yr old's, 18, 19, 25, 40, and 56...all great people and all have great experiences for me to pick up on. I have had a fulfilling life for my age and you will too if you just...let it all out. You will be surprised. Just be careful some people look harmless but indeed carry with them a lot of sins.
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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 10/19/2008 3:32:02 AM
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SR20FL
Posts: 33
Joined: 10/28/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: beachcooky
It is ultimately up to YOU to make friends. Don't expect everyone to come to you!
That's true. One good thing to know is that all you gotta do to meet good friends is just BE THERE (physically) and BE YOURSELF. Just be there; that's all it really takes, The rest is history. You'll connect with a lot of people and then after some time, you will know who your new "best friend" will be. The ones you can call up out of nowhere and head over to their house or to get something to eat or something. I don't even have a best friend anymore since I moved 2,700 miles away from FL to Cali. Keep praying and "being there" :).
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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 10/23/2008 12:50:23 PM
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jesuschick247
Posts: 2886
Status: offline
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My problem isn't finding friends, it's finding good ones who challenge my walk with the Lord,
ones that help me grow in Him. I also find that I seem to see people for who they could be,
instead of who they are, which has caused me a lot of heartbreak...in fact, it caused me to have
to kind of back off talking to my BFF, and it's been really hard on and for me.
My youth pastor says to reach out to those you need to be a witness to, and to make sure your
BFF is on the same page as you, I guess that's where I went wrong...for about the millionth time...
_____________________________
"The memories erased...Baby, that's the BEAUTY of GRACE!"
"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, rather than a second-rate version of someone else." - Judy Garland
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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 11/15/2008 3:20:41 PM
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lea84
Posts: 51
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
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Wow I can really relate to you here. I think a big issue is that people have a hard time finding friends who will reciprocate the friendship for genuine reasons and who share your faith. It's difficult because a lot of people even my age--24-- still want to live in the moment and do stupid and immature things. I've found that I can barely get along with people my age and I end up attracting people who are in their late 20's and even 30's! Ahh it can be a pain for sure.
Also many people are set in their cliques if they have one and aren't interested in learning about anyone new or meeting anyone new.
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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 12/8/2008 9:50:36 PM
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rising_warrior
Posts: 45
Joined: 12/6/2008
Status: offline
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Good friends are hard to find these days........ even at my age, I've gone through too much too reach out to them for friendship resulting in my withdrawal from society.
_____________________________
"Whoever under takes to set themselves up as the judge of truth and knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of God" -Albert Einstein
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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 12/10/2008 10:11:10 PM
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jcoke
Posts: 15
Joined: 6/14/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: beachcooky
the bible tells us that God will give you the desires of your heart if you delight in Him.
what verse is this from?
anyways, i've been homeschooled my whole life, and it was always hard to meet friends and resulted in many years of isolation and loneliness, but from that loneliness and isolation grew many virtues which at the time I had no idea were growing.
at the age of 13 I saw a documentary, it was the story of a girl they called genie, always felt compassion and love for this girl, she was someone who stayed in my heart and I never stoped thinking about her, one day not to long ago I realised that all this love, compassion and interest I had on this girl was what God was feeling for me, all my personal isolation could never compare to this girl but the love I had was and will be reflected upon me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICUZN462qMw
^^^that link and if you look you will find that documentary on youtube is the girl I'm talking about.
on a very related note, Anne Frank has always been in my heart since the age of 14, I shared compassion for her the same for as Genie, never realizing till later that the love you feel for someone is what God rewards you with.
friends are great, or should I say, can be great, the troubles of loneliness are replaced with troubles of friends, you never will find peace or perfection in this world, it's an ideal many chase after but will never be satisfied, you have to learn to benefit from isolation and loneliness, you, me or anyone else in the world does not know your future, only God, when you give up desire of your own heart, and trust God who knows not only your future, but also your gifts and abilities, he will use you at the proper time, which is satisfying and perfect, life is all about growing from observations and experiance's, best not let one moment be seeing as a waste.
I hope you grow to be satisfied with many friends, or even if God willing, few friends, it's all a matter of being in a state of mind of "not what I want, but where I may be of service to you, lord."
or so I think and have observed, anyways.
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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 12/17/2008 5:52:50 AM
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Nethrenia
Posts: 20
Joined: 6/29/2007
Status: offline
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Hey, you know what, i've been there too..well, almost, to be honest. I'm close. There was once a time when i felt betrayed by the closest people to me at church, and everybody else just seems ignorant. Praise the Almighty that he urged me to stay and not leave, and i ended up being best buddies with new people in church. In the end, i even work out the tension with those that once saddened me and now we're buddies again (at least, most of us. There's one that i'm finding it difficult to be close with again, but it's not like we're hating each other or what not).
My tip: all friendship started from zero, and everyone loves new friends. Take the step, chat with a few people. If you're finding it hard to open up, offer the role of the listening ear.
Good luck. My best wishes for you.. God bless.
_____________________________
"Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen." -Daddy in Heaven @ Luke 15:7
Read more at:
http://fathersloveletter.com/flltextenglish.html
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RE: I have no friends.... help please! - 12/17/2008 3:37:53 PM
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manda59
Posts: 6192
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: collybird
In the UK there is literally no way I know of meeting any other Christians around my age, we don't have youth groups etc.
You may not where you are (do you live somewhere really remote?), but there are LOADS of youth groups in the UK.(I should know, I've lived here all my life! and I became a Christian at 17 through the outreach work of one youth group in particular)
quote:
I'm hoping to spend the summer after I graduate (in 2010) as a counselor at a faith camp so that I can meet fellow Christians.
Isn't there a Christian Union at the place where you are studying? That would be a good place to start.
There's also Christian holidays (ever heard of Oak Hall Expeditions?) which is aimed at the 18-30 age group, and if you have your own transport I am sure there'd be a large town nearby with churches that have youth groups (though at 25 you'd probably be a bit young for a youth group - in most churches, by 25, people are helping out with the younger groups).
_____________________________
"Manda is right"
mvic, January 2009
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